The Dark and the Light
by squirrel1054
Summary: (Reylo college AU) Ben Solo just arrived at Hosnian State University and is haunted by memories of a past love. He thinks he might have found the answer to his problem.
1. The Girl

Ben awoke to the sound of his alarm at 12 o'clock pm. He looked drowsily at his phone, seeing that he missed his twenty-seven other alarms he had set, and thought: _Welp, looks like I missed the first day of class._ This kind of mishap would make any _normal_ person incredibly scared, but Ben hardly seemed to care.

He sat up to see his new roommate, Hux, typing at his computer. Hux turned his head, "Finally up, eh? You sure do sleep through a lot of noise," He said in a snarky, disapproving manner. Ben simply nodded, not having nearly enough energy to do anything else. "You know you really should ask for permission before setting thirty fuckin' alarms on my day off." _Shit._ Ben already knew that Hux didn't like him much, and this sure as hell wasn't going to help anything.

"Sorry." he muttered, barely.

"Nonetheless, it gave me enough time to learn my professor will be in his office today. I'm going to go see him in a couple of minutes," Hux seemed very proud of himself.

"Alright," Ben started drifting back to sleep.

"Hey," Hux said as he stood up and walked over to Ben's bed. "Buddy, don't fall back to sleep." He held his head up with his hands in a v-shape over his cheeks. "You have a lot of catching up to do if you want to succeed here. I suggest you try to contact someone from the classes you missed today." Ben nodded. "Good, I'll see you later." Hux quickly slipped his shoes on and left their dorm. Maybe he was wrong about Hux. _He sure thinks he's doing the best for me,_ he thought.

deciding it was probably time to get up, he slowly moved his legs to the side of his bed and placed both feet on the ground. Hoisting himself to his feet, his head reeled with dizziness and he tumbled back into bed. After a few moments of self-pity, he closed his eyes and returned to sleep.

When he finally awoke, it was nearly 2 pm. _Hux was probably right-I can't expect to stay in school if I don't even go to classes,_ he thought. With a considerable amount of effort, he managed to pull himself up-almost falling back into his bed again-and made his way to his desk to open his class website.

 _Jesus there's a lot of people in this class,_ he thought _._ Scrolling through he decided to pick someone randomly to contact. He clicked their profile and began an email: _Dear Poe Dameron, I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm afraid you have some information that I desperately need. You see, I missed the first lecture today, and so anything the professor said, I need to know. Could you please contact me back with a detailed list of all the important things he said? Thanks - Ben Solo_

The cursor clicked send and leaned back, feeling proud of himself for such an eloquent letter. Not even a minute later he received a reply. Ben opened it quickly and read: _Dude, just look at the online syllabus._ He frowned, the self-pity returned; _How could you not think of that, you fucking moron._ He smacked himself on the forehead and sighed, then returned to his computer, looking up the syllabus on the course page. He didn't seem to have missed too much. He thought, _you better fucking go the next day,_ and nodded in agreement..

The next day Ben managed to get up _before_ his alarm. He tried his best to get ready for the day quietly, to keep from waking his roommate. Grabbing a granola bar, he slipped on his shoes, wrapped up his scarf, and headed out the door.

As he walked out onto the cold earth he tore open his breakfast and began to eat. The sun was hardly up, and there was no one around at all. With the silence his mind began to wander. He thought about everything that brought him here: he could've gone to a much better local school, but he decided on Hosnian State University. He wasn't on the best terms with his hometown, and couldn't even stand being anywhere within driving distance of his parents. But worst of all, there were the haunting memories of one of the girls there that he could not bare to live through.

Just as he was thinking about _her,_ and feeling the darkest he'd felt in a long time, he spotted another early riser on their way to class. He tried to keep his distance; he couldn't bare to _talk_ to someone feeling this shitty about himself. But he kept an eye on her, intrigued at who she was.

As they both grew closer to his class and the sky got brighter, he began to feel some hope rising inside of him that maybe she'd be in his class. And, sure enough, when he turned the corner to enter his classroom, she was walking in the door. The thought of speaking with her almost brought a smile to his face, and he began to stride in with newfound confidence, but then he felt tug from the back of his mind: _You didn't even see her face and you already want to fuck her? You're such a disgusting pervert._ The smile faded before it arrived, and he trudged into class.

As he entered the lecture hall, his only thought was to get a seat as far away from her as possible. But when he looked up at the crowded hall, he saw only one empty seat-right next to her. _Just my luck_. He let out a heavy sigh, trudging up the stairs and through the row of seats, stepping over many pairs of legs.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked the girl with his head down, avoiding eye contact. She didn't seem to notice him with all the noise in the room. Shoving a crushing feeling in his chest, he slumped into the seat.

When the class started he could hardly pay attention. Despite his best efforts to refrain from staring at her out of the corner of his eye, he couldn't help but admire her. She was _beautiful,_ in a way that reminded him of... _her._

"Oh God…"


	2. The Life of the Party

After his class, Ben rushed back to his dorm to avoid running into the girl. Slamming the door behind him, he collapsed onto his bed with a thud. How, he thought, could someone look so much like her and be in the same fucking class as me. Old memories of her came flooding in and tears formed in his eyes-if he had to deal with this torture every day, he didn't know if he could handle it. Luckily, HSU started on a Thursday, so he had several days to mentally prepare.

Just then, Hux barged in. Ben hurriedly wiped away the tears on his face and did his best to seem nonchalant.

"Hey bud, you sleep all day again?" Hux seemed oblivious to Ben's tearstained face. He started unloading his bag.

What's with all the 'bud' talk? "What? Oh, no I made it to my class today. W-where did you go?" Ben asked timidly.

"Oh, just to the dining hall with some friends for breakfast," Oh right, thought Ben, it's only 9.

"So how'd your class go?" asked Hux, pulling out his laptop.

Ben wondered why he was so interested, but then again, this was an improvement from yesterday. "Fine, it went fine. I mean, it was calculus, so how good can it get?"

Hux looked him directly in the eye. "Don't talk shit about calculus, bud."

Jeez, thought Ben, this dude's serious. "Alright," Ben said, cautiously.

"So anyway, I'm going to this party tonight, you in?"

Ben gave him a blank stare. "Am I 'In'?"

"Do you want to come to this party with me?"

He's inviting me? "Sure, I guess."

"Great," he said, grabbing a textbook and donning a coat. "I'll swing by later and give you the details. I gotta head to class, see ya."

"Bye," the door slammed shut behind him.

"Well, that was odd," He mumbled. At least he no longer felt the need to cry.

Now that he was here, staring at the door, Ben hesitated to enter the party. What if no one in there liked him? Of course they won't like me, he told himself, but that doesn't mean I can't have fun. He felt an unfamiliar feeling-was it confidence?-and opened the door. A sea of drunk college students, complete with half-empty beer bottles, greeted him as he entered. He wondered why he didn't expect this, but then again he had never really been to a party before. Shifting his way through the crowd, he searched for Hux-at least he would know someone in this mob of intoxicated sophomores.

Stumbling over limbs, he searched for the familiar mop of red hair, but Hux was nowhere to be found. Maybe he's in the kitchen. Ben scooted past dozens of unfamiliar faces, battling through the neverending stream of strangers. Once he got into the kitchen, however, he could see that Hux wasn't there. He stood there awkwardly for a while, internally debating whether or not he should try to find Hux somewhere else, when he recognized the girl from earlier leaning against the counter. Well, now you definitely should leave he said to himself, but he couldn't get his body to move. He felt compelled to stay despite his fears, as if an invisible force had rooted him to the spot.

He kept his distance from her, arguing with himself over trying to talk to her, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Hux!

"Let's go talk to those guys!" he shouted, gesturing with the butt of his beer can. He followed Hux to a circle of people sitting on a couch that Hux shared some classes with. Ben felt himself relax, chatting about the campus, weather, and classes. Maybe I'll make some friends! he thought.

Just then, he felt a weight settle next to him on the couch. His stomach did a flip when he realized that it was the girl from earlier. Perfect, he thought, just when I was starting to have fun, she just had to show up. He pretended not to notice, focusing on the contents of his cup.

"Hey," she said, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"H-hi," he stuttered, ducking his head.

"What's your name?"

"Ben."

"Cool. My name's Rey. I think I saw you in my calculus class, is that right?"

Rey. What a beautiful name. "Y-yes. I sa- I think I sat right next to you."

"Cool! This your first year here?"

"Yeah, you?" Ben forgot about the others in the circle; the world seemed to fade out.

"Nah, this is my second year. What are you studying?"

I can't believe she's actually talking to me. "Well, I don't really know yet, but I think I want to be a writer."

"Cool, cool. I'm going into engineering myself." She stood up "I'm gonna go grab a drink, you want something?"

"Uh, no. I don't drink, sorry."

"Don't apologize," She smiled at him and left.

Ben leaned back onto the couch with a heavy sigh. His thoughts were screaming that was incredible! "Who's the girl?" Hux said from behind him.

"No one, just a girl from my calc class."

"Aah! See what I mean about calculus? It's a magical thing. Looks like she's coming back, I'll leave you to it then," he said, sounding somewhat disappointed. I wonder what's got him down? he thought, but before he could delve too deeply into it, Rey returned.

After that, Ben and Rey talked for hours on that little couch. He told her all about his hometown, his family, and all that reasons he wanted to be a writer. She talked about her time in HSU mostly; how she didn't have any friends, but it was okay because she had wonderful professors. She was always so positive, no matter what, and Ben really admired that.

By the time it all died down, it was nearly four o'clock. Rey had fallen asleep on his shoulder twenty minutes earlier, but he didn't have the heart to move her, so he sat there and watched her sleep, and Ben felt strangely at peace.. Eventually she did wake up, but when she left she hugged him and said "Let's hang out sometime".

Walking home, Ben realized that a weight had lifted from his shoulders. He watched the sunrise, birds chirping in the sky above him, and, for the first time in years, he felt happy.


End file.
